Weddings & Feasts

12/22/2018

What a wonderful dinner we enjoyed last evening with Steve, Kelly and our grown-up grandson, Benjamin (Ben) from Germany. Barb again did a superb meal and an array of cookies to be enjoyed afterward. The evening was short, but we enjoyed the time. We’ll spend more time with Ben while he’s here.

I had an interesting experience yesterday I’d like to share with you and I hope you understand it. A few days ago, I had talked with a middle-aged man about performing a marriage ceremony for him and his intended. We settled on next Wednesday, at 6PM. But, yesterday he stopped in the store where I was working and asked if they could come by this evening (yesterday) and we could do it then. I said, well, I don’t have a ceremony with me here. He said, well, do we need a ceremony for it to be legal? I said, no, we don’t. He said we want to get this done and get on with our lives. 

So, I said sure, come by at closing time. (Short, informal ceremonies take about 4-5 minutes and I practically know it by heart. And for my bible, I had my computer.) I was very busy (it was like Christmas eve for our store), but I looked up through the other customers at about 4:30 (an hour and half early) and they came walking through the door! I said have a seat, they did at the small round table in the corner of the store.

When those customers were gone, I said, “You’re early.” They laughed and said, “Just work us in between customers.” I laughed and said OK. So, until 5:50 (an hour, 20 minutes) we talked a few minutes, I’d wait on a customer, we’d talk some more, more customers, then more talk, more customers, etc. They were married and I had signed the “certificate of marriage” by 6PM. They started their “honeymoon” by her going back to work, he went home, I locked the store and came home for my great dinner with my family. How’s that for a unique wedding?

I’ve had some pretty unique marriages to perform, but this one might just be at the top of the list! Top of the list till now has probably been one back in Mobile about 1983. A beautiful young couple came to see me about their wedding and I found them to be very delightful in conversation about the Lord and the sanctity of marriage, etc. We set the date, it was to be a small family gathering one Friday evening at the home of her parents. Informal, but solemn and, if weather permitted, on the patio. 

The evening came and I had told a friend who was going somewhere with me to meet me at a certain restaurant after I was finished with the wedding. It probably wouldn’t be more than 45 minutes total, I told him. (My friend was a big man, close to 500lbs, which, among other things meant he ate a lot.)

I get to the home at about 2 minutes to 7 and ring the doorbell. The groom answered and in a not so happy voice said, Stand over in front of the fireplace mantle and we’ll be right with you. I said, “Oh, I thought with this beautiful day the patio would be lovely.” He stepped close to me, almost whispering said, “my parents are arguing with her parents and Sherie and I have to get out of here, make it fast.” and turned and went into another room. By the time I took a deep breath and opened my bible, the 6 of them were in the living room seated. I read the ceremony, the Scripture, they said their I Do, and I was out of that house at 7:09! At the door, he slipped a $20 bill in my coat pocket and said “we’ll be in touch.” I left and have not seen them since! 

The rest of the story is about my friend the big man: I drive over to the restaurant to wait and he was already inside eating. I looked at all that food he had in front of him and stared at him.”You said 45 minutes, Jerry, grab some food and wait, I’ll be done by then!” Never, ever have I ever seen anyone eat like that man.

Another side note about that man: he was our taxman and once brought me some papers to sign while I was down at the gym shooting hoops. He walked out on the floor, said “gimme a shot,” I threw him a basketball, he stepped to the free throw line and with perfect form, shot and made 15 in a row! My mouth hung open the whole time! I said, “you’ve played some ball before?” He said, “I was the leading scorer on my high school championship team and turned down an athletic scholarship to continue my singing career!” Astounding! and at 45, weighed 500lbs. ain’t people amazing?!

Just so you know, “Here Comes Santa Claus” was not the SIMH this morning. Didn’t really have a song today.

Thanks for reading, the Elder